Saving English
Our language defines us. So why is it used so badly by those who should know better?
English is in an abusive relationship. It is being neglected and overworked by those who should love it most. Across the English-speaking world, most so in Britain, English is unhappy. It lives in a dodgy domestic arrangement that needs to change. Helping it to escape would be a sublime turn of patriotism and compassion
Pedants, of the Eats, Shoots & Leaves sort, will have salivated at the above paragraph. They will expect a rant about the misuse of the semi-colon. Or a tirade against apostrophes showing up where they don’t belong. I am afraid this essay, like most things, will disappoint them. A fate that also awaits the spelling police who think that memorising how many “c’s” and “m’s” accommodate has in it matters.
These things are important in a technical sense; but only that. Structure, spelling, punctuation, syntax, and grammar have, no doubt, their role to play. As a writer, they are the tools I use to work. Keen readers will sift through the above and congratulate themselves on finding mistakes. I’m sorry in advance. Let’s move on.
It is not these rules when broken that causes so much bad and boring writing. That would be to confuse tools with results. Often, the reverse is true. Successive generations know a verb from an adverb, onomatopoeia, and about commas. In the purest technical sense, we’ve never been less short on proficient writers.
Nor have we ever been more submerged in written piffle.
The problem we have is with how we use the language. There is too much, much of it unoriginal.
You will have seen examples, there is no doubt about that. It's everywhere.
My line of work contains nothing but examples. Communications should be where language is safest. We should value words but we don't, given how haphazard and gluttonous we are with them. In journalism and polemicism, it's not much better.
Huge reports, sometimes hundreds of pages of rubbish that nobody will read, are common. They are then passed up cocksure chains of command to people who write how they talk. That is to say with thousands of words but no content.
Press releases go out to newspapers that are pages in length. Worst still they are full of words like “thrilled”, “delighted”, “strategy”, and “framework.” Nobody ever has been “thrilled” or “delighted” by a “strategy” or a “framework.” At best they’ve been happy about a plan. Sources are often “commenting,” “praising,”, or “declaring,” when the word “said” sits unused.
These are only two examples from a specific industry. But the problem is widespread. It seems like every group of people is a “community." Each idea that some dullard ever devised is an “initiative,” or, worse, a “strategy.” All relationships are “networks.” I can't remember the last chat over coffee that wasn't a "sit down." Chats have become “check-ins”. Every interminable planning meeting is a “forward look.” All of it is completely hateful.
The middle managers and human resourcers who promote this tosh are victims and at fault. They grew up in professions that use code to remain exclusive and keep originality away. As Philip Larkin says in This Be The Verse, “they were fucked up in their turn by fools in old-style hats and coats.”
Yet, they perpetuate it and use obscurity to seem clever. These trustees also do it to cover up much-deserved feelings of inferiority. They are the prisoner who keeps the keys to the jail away from the others.
Like any change, fixing this problem, should you agree that there is one, will happen person by person.
Choosing clarity over hideous jargon or overused phrases will help. Deciding to be brief and original over long-winded and usual will too. Staring at anyone writing in this tedious way will embarrass them into repentance. If needed, and you can handle it, you can ask them what a particular word, phrase, or sentence they’ve used means. Of course, this has to be a sparing choice, reserved for meriting situations. Reserve it for such language abuses as "cuts both ways" or "self-same thing." But don't hesitate when it needs doing. It will cause panic, but not on your behalf. The panic party will deserve their moment of anguish. Show no mercy until they learn.
English is a beautiful language. It is blunt and elegant at the same time. Simple to use and to learn but not austere or cruel. It dispenses with arbitrary gender rules and excessive tenses and conjugations. Talking about plurals in it is easy. When cluttered, it is like an antique shop; charming rather than hideous or confusing. It has the most important documents in the world written in it. It deserves the love many have for it.
But it needs saving from the present to honour the past and protect the future. You can make a difference. Let’s get on with it.