When Disappointing Children is Hilarious
Glasgow's Willy's Chocolate Experience, like its Lapland New Forest predecessor, shows that sometimes it's funny when the kid's balloon pops.
I found the Willy’s Chocolate Experience saga hilarious. From Oompa Loompas wearing “Can you believe what I have to put up with?”, expressions, to the bleak backdrop contrasting with the terrible decor, to the ultra-camp, legitimately frightening villain, The Unknown, it was superb.
I hoovered up every snippet and interview I could find, as did many other online rubber-neckers keen to pry into sweetie-based catastrophe. It was the sugar that the internet likes and we could not get enough.
For the uninitiated, Willy’s Chocolate Experience is not the title of a highly problematic pornographic film funded by Creative Scotland but a short-lived children’s event hosted by House of Illuminati (yes, really) in a warehouse in Glasgow.
While it was never stated explicitly, it was themed around the much-loved story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and must surely have caused many splutters, dropped monocles, and spluttered brandy among Scotland’s legal top brass for its brazen, hussy-ish flirting with the breaking of intellectual property laws.
Promoted using AI images of the kind that will make those who fear the technology feel much better, this game of copyright chicken with Warner Bros promised attendees a “chocolate fantasy like never before,” “an exhilarating and immersive adventure,” and “captivating live performances featuring charming characters singing original catchy tunes.”
It delivered none of that and so much less.
Attendees were met with bare concrete walls, rendered even more naked by a sarcastically rubbish print hanging forlornly. In place of the promised sweets and treats, the disappointed kiddies and their presumably irate parents were given a “couple of jelly beans and a quarter cup of lemonade at the end,” according to actor Paul Connell who worked the event.
It is Mr Connell who provides the most insightful and cuttingly funny remark about Willy’s Chocolate Adventure. Reported by The Independent, the Glasgow-based actor described the script he was handed for the title role as, “15 pages of AI-generated gibberish.” From the footage available, it must have been at least double-spaced.
The scenery was terrible and looked nothing like that which had been promised. It takes perusing the photo and video to get the full impact, sometimes things do need to be seen to be believed, but it was awful and disappointed many children.
So, why was it so funny? Why was a bunch of children having an afternoon of disappointment resulting in their parents being out of pocket and out of patience one of the most side-splitting things to have occurred in a city that is well-known for its sense of humour? Even by Weegie standards, this was a hoot.
For the answer, it’s useful to consider another very similar example.
In 2008, Victor and Henry Mears created Lapland New Forest. For a mere £25 (a snip compared to £35 for Willy’s Chocolate Experience), families could, they said, enjoy a “winter wonderland” with drinks, food, “real reindeer”, Santa, and a “magical tunnel of light,” among the entertainments.
They did not get any of that.
They got a dingy car park with a few sad animals, a crudely painted nativity scene, and a Christmas market with four stalls.
Santa was caught smoking.
Attendees reported seeing children crying with disappointment and angry parents and carers demanding action. The tension also rose to the point that violence erupted, with an elf being slapped, two dads getting into a scuffle in a gingerbread house, and a snowman receiving so much verbal abuse that the actor stormed off in full costume.
Low-paid workers receiving abuse is not funny and should not have happened.
The rest of it, however, is as hilarious as Willy’s Chocolate Experience, albeit with a less suggestive name.
But what is it that makes both disasters so funny?
Part of it is schadenfreude of other people’s disappointment.
The children and their families who provide the laughter fodder for this aren’t the object of the joke, but they are the subject of it. They are who it is about, not who it is aimed at. The object is the incompetence and cheek of the people brazen enough to put these events on, it is Billy Coull and Victor and Henry Mears at whom we are really laughing.
There is something of the Wile E. Coyote, setting up his intricate plans and looking forward to catching that elusive Roadrunner only to have the entire thing fall apart and crush his spirits about this kind of thing that is intrinsically very funny. Especially in Britain, where being brought down from one’s expectations is the bedrock of an entire sense of humour.
Both events also functioned like a well-told gag. Jokes are, as comedian Jimmy Carr puts it, “two stories and the first story makes you make an assumption about the second.” The humour, to use Carr’s understanding, occurs in that assumption turning out to be not true. In this case, attendees expected a magical day of adventure and fun, and they got The Unknown and Santa with a smoldering Marlboro clenched between his tensed fingers.
There is also the point that efforts have been made to rectify the wrongs caused. The operators behind Lapland New Forest faced criminal charges and the man behind Willy’s Chocolate Experience, Billy Coull, has promised refunds to all involved.
Further, several of the savvy young staff members have used it as a learning experience and have been speaking extensively to the papers. This writer wishes them the best of luck; at worst, they’ll always have a good pub or dinner party story to share.
It’s not exactly a case of ‘all’s well that ends well’ but it’s close enough.
There may be more to come in the story of Willy’s Chocolate Experience, with rumours of a The Unknown movie in the works, and the entire thing may turn out to be some hugely clever marketing ploy. I hope it’s not because in the bleak early 2024, having a laugh at someone’s ultimately minor expense and being reminded of the hilarity of Lapland New Forest brought some much-needed smiles.
Sorry if you were impacted, but sometimes it’s just your time.
There will be other occasions on which you are on the fun side of the giggles.
For now, thanks for the laughs.